


Loved

by hunters_retreat



Category: Supernatural
Genre: First Time, M/M, Temporarily Human Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-16
Updated: 2008-12-16
Packaged: 2018-05-04 15:50:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5339762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunters_retreat/pseuds/hunters_retreat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Ruby try to find a way to free Castiel from his strange captivity and Dean is left to handle Castiel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loved

  
“I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”

 

Dean nearly growled at the words, but bit his tongue. He had a deep seeded dislike of Ruby and even if he was currently calling a truce on open hostilities for Sam’s sake, it didn’t mean he liked any of this. Especially when she came to them with something like this, then kept them waiting for three days.

 

“Ruby.”Sam said.There was nothing but politeness and barely concealed impatience which Dean was grateful for.After Sam told him about what had happened while Dean was in Hell, he’d been watching them for signs of something… more worrisome then just sex with a demon.Like that wasn’t enough, but he knew his brother and except for the freak occasion, Sam didn’t do one-nighters.

 

“Don’t get all gushy on me.”She said, hurt apparent in her words and Sam just rolled his eyes over her head at Dean.He was careful not to laugh because it was such a Sam thing to do and every day, as things became darker and more dangerous for them, Sam was losing those things.

 

“You rushed us out here to this pit of nowhere like all of hell was coming up and then you make us sit on our asses for three days. What sort of reception did you think you were going to get?”

 

She looked at Dean for a moment, just enough to remind him that she had called a truce too and he decided he should probably quiet up. The last thing he wanted to do was get Ruby pissed right now. Not that he cared one way or another about her, but she was a demon and knew all about his time in Hell. After their last argument she’d waited to get Dean alone and began describing one of the more gruesome ways Dean had been tortured. She knew more than enough and even if he had confessed to Sam, he didn’t want his brother to hear the details about any part of it.

 

“I found where they’re hiding him.”

 

“He’s still alive?”

 

She nodded. “Yeah, but we need to go tonight. They’d moving him every day and working him over at night.”

 

There wasn’t anything else to say. Sam gave Dean a tight grimace as they both turned and packed their bags. As they got to the door, Sam reached out a hand to Dean’s shoulder. “We’ll get him out of there Dean.”

 

“We’d better Sammy. He got me out of a lot worse.”

 

“Amen to that brother.” Ruby said, pushing her way past the boys and into the waiting back seat of the Impala.

 

 

 

Tonight’s location was as undesirable as the last two and Dean wondered why these things always had to play out in the middle of nowhere in some run down warehouse or factory or farm.Or barn as the case was tonight.Everything looked quiet from where they waited.The Impala was parked back a way so no one would hear them coming.As soon as Sam had closed the door of the Impala, he’d looked over at Dean and nodded up towards the trees.Dean felt it too.It was too quiet and the closer they got to the barn that was all that stood the test of time beside the burnt ruins of what had once been a house, the silence become eerie.There were no animals out and about tonight and that was always a bad sign, one of those things they’d known to pay attention to since they were kids.

 

Sam had always had a harder time appreciating the death in silence. He’d always liked it, enjoyed it when everything went silent and Dean gave him a quick two thumbs up that he’d noticed it so quickly at the car. Sam rolled his eyes and extended a finger to Dean that was not a thumb at all. There was a small smile on his face though and a faint flush that only came when Dean reminded him of something he did that Dean knew went against Sam’s grain but fell perfectly inline with the training they’d been given. He wanted to roll his own eyes at his need to encourage Sam, but like so many other things in Dean’s life, it was too ingrained to stop. Take care of Sammy had been the first of many orders, the most often heard, and the most laborious and beneficial of chores. He loved his kid brother and Sam loved him and he knew as long as they managed to keep fighting together, they’d do okay. What was it he’d told Henriksen? Bloody. Yeah the world was going to end bloody, but he and Sam were both going down swinging, side by side the way only the Winchester boys could.

 

At least they were now, thanks to a certain mark on Dean’s shoulder and the angel who’d brought him out of Hell.It was hard to think in those terms and he tried to avoid it.He tried to treat Castiel the same way he treated everybody, but he wasn’t everybody and he couldn’t deny that.He was every bit of Dean’s savior; from things far worse than Dean had ever dreamed would visit him in hell.He’d saved him from himself.

 

He felt Sam’s hand on his shoulder and nodded to his brother. There was no movement on the outside of the building and he knew they weren’t expected. Ruby was pressed into his side, shifting between him and Sam as she tried to look with those demon eyes to see if there was anything the brother’s couldn’t see on his own. She shook her head and Dean gave her a tight smile when she looked at him. No words were passed. Ruby was content to let Sam and Dean lead the way and like so many other moments in their lives, Sam and Dean needed no words for what they were doing tonight.

 

 

The door went flying open thanks to a little mojo from Ruby and Dean was stalking through them, Ruby’s knife in one hand and holy water in the other.Sam was at his side, moving from his place just behind Dean’s shoulder to a few steps away to give each other room to work and make a harder target.They both stopped still for a moment, just a single moment to see Castiel, neck bent down, blood dripping into pools at his knees as he tried to stay upright.His arms were shackled above his head and blood ran down from his wrists where they supported most of his weight.He was naked and shivering but if it was from cold or shock or something else there was no way to tell.Dean wished he’d put his head up so he could look into those too blue eyes and see that he was still in there, but Castiel wasn’t moving at all.

 

“Well, it looks like the cavalry arrived. Aren’t you happy Castiel?”

 

The demon went to grab for Castiel’s head and Dean and Sam moved in unison, attacking the four demons that were holding the angel captive.The strongest two knew where to attack and Sam found himself, hand stretched out to destroy one of the demons while the other attacked.Ruby was there, knew her place in this fight, and kept Sam safe until he could turn his talent on the other.Dean moved to the two demons left with Castiel.“Get away from him.”Dean’s voice was low and dark and filled with years of pain and torment and promises.The two looked at one another then threw themselves at Dean.Thankfully the first was inept and as he made a pass for Dean, he was able to block and counter easily with Ruby’s knife to the throat.

 

The second wasn’t so fast or clumsy. He circled Dean for a few minutes, then struck out quick with a jab that was followed by an attempt to kick.

 

“Keep him alive Dean!”Ruby yelled over at him.

 

He wanted to tell her to piss off, but he was busy and he didn’t have the foggiest idea how to keep the demon alive. It wasn’t something he’d ever done a lot of, capturing demons to keep them alive. He was more the wham, bam, fuck you man himself.

 

Without warning he was knocked on the floor as the demon Sam was fighting came crashing into him.He was flailing about all over Dean as Sam destroyed the demon within, but as Dean got to his feet the other demon was running.Ruby threw a disgusted look at the thing and shook her head.

 

Sam came over and walked beside Dean as he walked over to Castiel. “Cas?” Dean asked, his voice laced with concern.

 

There was a faint groan and Dean wondered how long this had been going on before Ruby’d gotten word of it.He looked at the shackles on the other man and then at Sam.Sam nodded, pulled his picks out of his pocket and began to work on the locks as Dean knelt down, ready to take the weight.“Got it.”Sam said, and then Dean felt the angel’s body slumping against him.He held him up to keep from injuring his still locked wrist.Sam had to work on that one more and he was cursing under his breath until he barely whispered “Finally” before it was opened and Castiel was a limp mass of naked angel against him.

 

Castiel seemed to come to himself then, struggling against whoever held him. “Cas, it’s Dean, we’ve got you now.”

 

The angel didn’t stop though his movements were jerky and weak until his hand brushed over the shoulder of Dean’s jacket.Dean felt the heat of it, felt the claim of flesh that rocked under that touch and when Castiel settled against him, he knew it was that recognition that allowed the angel proof.He’d never been happier to have the damn thing.

 

He carefully let Castiel down, laid him on the ground to see if there were any injuries that needed to be dealt with here before they could get him someplace safer. Most of the injuries were old. They had apparently walked in on the beginnings of the session and the myriad of cuts were shallow even if they were many. His eyes caught on the silver band that wrapped around Castiel’s neck and he reached out to touch it. There was something engraved on it, something that looked like Latin but was too covered in dried blood to read properly.

 

“Damn!” Ruby said as she stood over Dean’s shoulder. “We needed that demon to get that off him.”

 

“Help me Sam. Let’s get him to the motel.” The brothers moved together and Ruby fell in line.

 

“There’s a trick to get the binding ring off him and until it’s gone, he’s cut off from heaven.” She said, the walk back to the Impala suddenly making them all uneasy. She moved around them with the grace of a weapon and Dean had no issue giving the knife back to her when she asked for it. “I’ll have to trace him, wherever he’s gone.”

 

She was just talking to talk, but it was information to think about for another time.Right now it was hard enough to just get one foot in front of another while carrying half of Castiel’s weight.Sam seemed to agree since he kept his pace as quick as Dean’s.

 

The ride back to the motel was uneventful and Ruby ran interference to keep anyone from seeing them put the naked and bleeding man in the motel room.Castiel was unconscious through it all and they quickly cleaned his cuts and had him bandaged and dressed in a pair of Dean’s sweats and tee shirt.

 

They stared down at him, resting soundly but both brothers were concerned by the fact that there was an unconscious angel in the room.If he’d been human they could understand the stress and shock, but he was an angel.

 

“Ruby, when you said he’d cut off from heaven, what did you mean?” Sam asked, looking at the dark haired demon.

 

She seemed to come back to herself from something and Dean knew she was doing some sort of demon trick to try to locate the one that got away. She’d been doing the same thing every night since she’d told them the demons had Castiel captive. “He’s cut off. That binding ring, it keeps him from interacting with heaven in any way. It’s… it’s like Anna.” She said, her voice gentler than Dean would have thought she could be. He thought, in her own way, she was ready for their truce to be permanent and her consideration for his feelings over Anna was a concession she hadn’t needed to make otherwise. “She gave up her divinity to be human and therefore heaven was unable to touch her. The binding ring is holding him to earth, to this body really, keeping his grace dormant, just trapped inside him. As long as he has that on, he’s as human as you are. Heaven won’t be able to find him because he’s no longer on their radar.”

 

“How the hell did they do that?”

 

She shrugged. “I don’t know. But I intend to find out. And I will find a way to get it off him.” She looked at Sam. “I need you to do this.”

 

Sam looked at Dean. “Dean?”

 

He nodded. As much as he hated Sam going on a hunt without him by his side, he trusted Ruby enough to watch his back. Mostly, he trusted that Sam was more than the match of this one running demon though so he nodded. “Yeah Sam. Get this guy so we can protect our little fallen angel.” He tried to sound light and teasing but it fell flat. “I’ll keep an eye on him.”

 

“Dean… he… when he touched your shoulder?” Dean met his eyes and silent encouraged him to continue. “I don’t know what it was, but something happened didn’t it?”

 

“He knows it’s me Sam, it’s why he stopped fighting before he recognized us any other way. I’ll keep him safe Sam and he’ll rest better knowing it’s me.”

 

He forced himself to stop talking because he knew he was just trying to make himself feel better about sending Ruby out with Sam instead of going himself, but on this hunt it was the right thing to do.

 

“Okay Dean.”Sam didn’t say anything else.Ruby was out the door of the motel and Sam had the keys to the Impala in his hands as he stopped.He gave Dean a half smile, the one that meant he was sorry and that he’d make it better if he could.

 

“Be safe Sammy.”

 

He got a full blown smile then and Sam looked down at Castiel. “Take care of sleeping beauty and we’ll see you as soon as we can.”

 

 

 

At first there was little to do, but then Ruby’s words came back to him and Dean tried to rethink things.What would he do if it were Sam sitting there on that bed?A lot that he wasn’t doing now, he realized, like treating him for shock and blood loss or figure out when he’d last ate or drank.

 

He cursed himself long and loud as he pushed off the chair he’d drug beside the bed and began pulling the blankets out from under Castiel and on top of him to keep him warm. He grabbed a few pillows and propped them under his knees to raise them slightly. They had basic supplies in the room and he found a bottle of water and raised Castiel’s head slightly to see if he could get a few drops into the angel’s mouth. He was encouraged when Castiel’s lips moved under the liquid and he got a few drinks into him even if he didn’t wake up for it. The angel might be unconscious but it felt more like sleep than anything more serious after that.

 

 

 

Dean was still in the chair but his head was on the bed beside Castiel when his eyes jerked open so he figured he must have fallen asleep for a little while. Castiel moved in his sleep and Dean sat up, realizing that was what had woken him in the first place. “Castiel?” He kept his voice soft, not sure what the angel’s frame of mind would be when he woke up.

 

Blue eyes stared up at him and Dean felt himself smiling slightly in relief. “Hey Cas. Was beginning to think you were taking a Van Winkle on us.”

 

Castiel sat up, his eyes wide and searching around him as one hand came up to his neck. “Get it off.” His voice was as hard as Dean knew it could get, but there was an edge of panic to it as well and that was worse than anything Dean had ever heard.

 

“Sam and Ruby are trying to figure it out. As soon as they do, we’ll get it off you.”

 

“I… Dean… I can’t…”

 

“I know.” Dean said softly. He wasn’t sure what else to say. He’d made his disdain for heaven pretty well known before and even if he had been saved by an angel he could never forget everything that had happened to his family, how they’d always been alone in their struggle and that when god’s angels had come to save him, it had been for their own purposes and not to help the Winchester family who so devastatingly deserved it. “Ruby told us about this binding ring.” He put his hand on Castiel’s, pulling it away from his neck and putting it into his hap. “Don’t worry. We’ll get you out of it.”

 

Castiel nodded, then looked at Dean, really focused for the first time since he woke. “Thank you Dean.”

 

He nodded, not feeling there was any reason to be thanked but it was good to hear it sometimes. Not everyone thanked them for saving their asses and he was more than a little surprised it was the angel who was doing it.

 

“You need some water.” Dean said, feeling suddenly uncomfortable and needing to move. He reached for the water bottle and helped Castiel sit up. He was moving on his own and Dean watched with critical eyes as he moved stiffly. He didn’t say anything but he propped the pillows up behind Castiel’s back and helped him take a couple more drinks of the water.

 

Castiel let his head fall back against the headboard, his eyes falling closed as he did so. “I’ve never…” He took a deep breath and Dean almost thought he was asleep again before he continued. “I’ve never felt this before. Being an angel, you know what human’s feel, you understand it, you have something similar to them, but it seems shallow compared to this.” He opened his eyes and Dean felt he was being weighed. “I have thought so often of what it would feel like to be one of you, for just a day.” His eyes filled with tears and he was shaking his head. “Now I don’t think I can do it. You have to get this off me Dean.” He finished in a whisper. “I’ll go mad. This spirit isn’t made to hold so much…”

 

He didn’t know what to do but it seemed his heart was working on instinct and his body always had followed the damn thing anyway.Sam always said he was a damn fool for it, but he knew that the times he’d just followed his instincts had been the times when he’d been able to pull him and Sam back from the too many disastrous paths that had one time followed their every footstep.

 

He had his arms around Castiel, holding him close. The angel stiffened for a minute but when Dean began running small circles over his lower back, he let himself be soothed into relaxing. Dean felt the tremors in the body he held but kept silent except for the occasionally calming words that didn’t mean anything to anyone except when they were in this state and just wanted to know that someone cared enough to say them.

 

When Castiel pulled away, Dean let him, but he didn’t go very far. Dean tipped his head back with one hand and let his thumb wipe away the evidence of Castiel’s grief and pain. “You aren’t alone Castiel. Sam and I will figure this out, just like we do everything else.”

 

Castiel closed his eyes as Dean’s thumb continued to move across the smooth skin of his cheek. “Dean…” his voice was low and breathless and Dean pulled his hand back suddenly, realizing what he’d been doing.

 

“Sorry.” He mumbled as he stood up and looked around. “How are you feeling? We took care of the worst of it, but there’s only so much we could do about the pain.”

 

Castiel nodded, eyes still wider than normal. “I feel okay. Stiff. I… I think I need a shower.” He said after thinking to himself for a minute. “Yes. I want to take a shower. I want to be rid of the filth the demons spat at me.”

 

Dean nodded.He wasn’t sure it was the best idea, but he could understand the need after an ordeal like that.“Sure.Let me get it started and I’ll help you get in there.”

 

He didn’t wait for a response, but moved into the bathroom and turned the water on.He felt uneasy and off balance.He was used to that around Castiel, even if he tried to hide it.He’d never forget how Castiel had come to him the first time, nor how he’d promised to throw him back into hell if he didn’t do as he was told.Of course, Dean had never been good at doing what he was told unless it was his Dad telling him and he’d caused enough trouble to know he’d skirted the edge a few too many times.It wasn’t that he wanted to go back to hell, but he’d rather send his soul to hell than be someone he wasn’t.At least that’s what he told himself.

 

It was a lot of bravado, and most of the time it was just a matter of making sure that Sam did what he should do, of keeping Sam from ever having to go to the pit himself.As Dean had walked that path, he needed to make sure that Sam didn’t.

 

So Dean was used to being uncertain around Castiel, however he wasn’t used to Castiel acting the same way and it made something in him bleed to see the angel so out of control and off center.He checked the water temperature without thinking and looked back at Castiel who had managed to get his legs off to the side of the bed.He looked pale and Dean didn’t know how to ask all the things that needed to be asked.He’d never seen an angel vulnerable before, except Anna and she had been human for a long time before she’d met the Winchesters.

 

He turned the last knob and the shower sputtered to life. It wasn’t the best water pressure but he didn’t think Castiel would care one way or other. “Got it going for you.” He said, walking back into the other room. Castiel looked up, then started to push to his feet. Dean was there before he could stumble, catching him and pulled one arm over his shoulder to help him walk. “Take it easy Cas. I’ve got you.”

 

He walked him back into the bathroom and leaned him up against the wall. When he reached for the hem of Castiel’s shirt, the angel grabbed his hands. “What are you doing?”

 

Dean looked up confused, nodding to the shower as he did. “You want a shower, right? Clothes have got to come off. Come on, you have to know that. Isn’t that what the dead do up in heaven? Spy around people’s showers?”

 

He smiled as he said it but Castiel seemed even more uncertain. “Alright then.” Dean said with a shake of the head. “I’ll let you take care of it. Just… take it easy Cas. We didn’t get you out of there for you to crack your head open in the shower.”

 

He backed up then, watching to make sure Castiel was going to be able to hold himself upright. When he didn’t look like he was going to fall over immediately Dean left the bathroom, leaving the door open a little bit just in case.

 

He heard the shower curtain moving and took a few steps closer to the bathroom but there were no loud thumps and just the sound of water falling in new patterns.He closed his eyes and without wanting the image it appeared before him anyway.Castiel with his head tilted back, dark hair wet and spiking everywhere, eyes closed against the warm spray that left rivers running in long tracks down pale muscled flesh.

 

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there like that, but then he pushed the thought away. No one had ever claimed Dean Winchester was a saint. He was only human and Castiel was a fucking angel and looked every inch the part; his own personal savior on a stick and damned if Dean didn’t want to take a lick. Not that he would because Castiel was an angel and considering the others he’d met, and Uriel came straight to mind there, they needed someone like Castiel on their side up there. He tried to smother the part of him that said Castiel would be happier on Earth, if what Anna had said was right, but it refused to die away. Still he had enough to worry about keeping Sam from turning and keeping him safe without adding to his burden. And as beautiful as Castiel was, he would definitely be a distraction and a burden. He might be a soldier in heaven, but on Earth he was lost and Dean didn’t have the time to help him. He hated the truth, but he was a realist and he needed to squash those thoughts ruthlessly before they became something more. Something more than heat and claiming and the recognition of flesh that Castiel had already marked into his body.

 

Especially as he looked up to find a dripping Castiel standing in the doorway of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist and held with one hand.It took a minute for Dean to be able to look past the water droplets and up to see that Castiel was barely holding his own there.

 

“Doing okay?”

 

“No.”Castiel said and it rocked Dean back because of the honesty of the comment.He wasn’t an angel right now but he wasn’t really thinking like a human.

 

“Come on, back in bed.” Dean had his arm around Castiel’s waist and was half way across the room before the angel seemed to get his body to cooperate. There was a dysfunction in the way Castiel was moving and Dean just pushed the thought aside as he let Castiel onto the bed. He didn’t think about it as he pulled the towel from Castiel’s hand then pushed the angel down into the pillows. He settled the blankets around him quickly. “You need to get some rest Castiel. As soon as Sam and Ruby find that demon they’ll get you out of this. You’ll be fine then.”

 

Castiel looked at him for a minute then shook his head. “Fine? Do you believe that?”

 

Dean looked down.He didn’t and he didn’t think he could really say those words and make his eyes show them.There were some lies that just wouldn’t be forced.

 

“Anna… when she kissed you…” There was something like pain in his voice and Dean looked up, not wanting to know what he had to say about that, about what had happened between he and Anna, but not able to stay away from the pain. The rest of the words were a whisper. “I wanted to fall. If I thought I could fall into you, I think in that moment I would have.”

 

Dean’s mouth was open, he knew it, but he couldn’t think of anything to say to that. “That’s not how it works though and I know that. And regardless of everything else, this war is too important. We’ve lost so many of our brothers and sisters and we can’t afford to lose anyone else, no matter what the reason.” He looked up at Dean then and smiled, but it was sad. “But it doesn’t mean I don’t want. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to feel these things, I’m just not sure how I will ever go back when this is done.” He said quietly.

 

“Feel what things?” Dean asked quietly.

 

Castiel looked up and gave him that sad smile again and Dean couldn’t think of anything he wanted to do more than to find a way to get that look off his face.Castiel sighed softly.“Feel you.”Then Castiel was reaching up with sure hands and pulling Dean’s face to his, letting his lips touch Dean’s in the barest of kisses.

 

Dean pulled back. “You’re an angel, you can’t-“

 

“This thing keeps me from being connected to heaven Dean; it contains me in his body.” He said, his fingers lightly running over Dean’s cheekbone. “I can’t fall for you Dean, but I can have one night they’ll never know about.”

 

Dean closed his eyes trying to think, trying to stop from doing something monumentally stupid but Castiel wasn’t done. “I’ll go mad Dean, with all these things going on around me. Give me something I can focus on.” He pulled his face close again, letting his lips dance across skin as he spoke. “Let me call you home tonight.”

 

His tongue slipped out to touch at Dean’s lip and it was more than he could do to deny the angel. He opened up then, letting Castiel take control of his lips.Castiel’s tongue plunged into Dean’s mouth and he moaned into it.In for a penny in for a pound and all that, because if he was going to hell for making love to an angel he was going to enjoy every damn minute of it.

 

Castiel’s hand was still on his face and Dean leaned down, closing the gap between their bodies.He shifted his weight to one hand, then let the other drift up to Castiel’s chest.The angel was weak right now because of his injuries but the muscle under Dean’s hand was still hard and Dean felt a jolt knowing that the only thing that lay between himself and Castiel were his own jeans and tee-shirt and the too thin motel blanket.His hand drifted lower, dragging the blanket down with it.

 

He broke the kiss, leaning his forehead against Castiel’s as he let his eyes drift down.His hand settled against Castiel’s hipbone, his thumb stroking lightly across the tender flesh.Castiel shuttered and it hit Dean harder than ever that this was an angel.An actual angel who had never been touched before, never been allowed to feel.More than that, Castiel was a soldier, pitched in battle against the same dark forces that Dean had battled his whole life.Dean’s own father might not have given them everything, but he’d at least taught Dean to appreciate the things in life he could have, to enjoy the moments he could.Castiel had never had that.He fought the battle but never got the reward that he deserved.

 

Castiel’s hand pulled at him, trying to being his face back for a kiss, but Dean pulled away, looking the angel in the eye. Uncertain eyes stared back at him and Dean knew it was just the unknown, not indecision that showed. The angel had been around for millennium and he doubted there were many experiences in his angel form that he’d failed to experience. This was new to him altogether and it made Dean smile to think he’d be the one to give Castiel the only taste of this he would ever be allowed to have.

 

He wanted to say something profound, but he wasn’t Sam who liked to talk about every damn thing in the world. He was Dean and that meant the important things were said in something other than words. He let his hand slide under the blankets and followed the line of his hip further and let his hand run lightly over Castiel’s thigh. Castiel’s eyes closed and Dean leaned in, brushing his lips against his neck, leaving a trail of warm breath as he moved up towards the ear. Castiel’s head moved to the side to give him better access and Dean smiled into the warm flesh. “I’ll make you feel so good Cas.” He whispered as he bit lightly on his earlobe. Castiel let out a small moan and Dean licked the flesh just under his ear. “Gotta let me know what feels good, let me know what you want.”

 

“Dean”

 

There was too much in that one word and Dean closed his mouth over Castiel’s to keep anything else from spilling out just yet.There was only so much control he had and he needed to make this last.He needed to be able to control himself and not rush this.

 

His hand skimmed lightly up the inside of Castiel’s thigh and he swallowed the angel’s moan, covering it with one of his own as Castiel’s hands reached up around him, pulling him closer.As his tongue continued to explore Castiel’s mouth, Dean brought his hand up and touched Castiel’s cock lightly.The first touch was soft and lingering, letting the angel get used to the touch, to the feel of someone else touching him.

 

Castiel bucked into his touch and Dean covered another of Castiel’s moans with one of his own.His fingers closed around the swollen flesh and he began moving his hand up and down, slow and firm strokes that Castiel’s hips met with no hesitation.

 

He broke the kiss, pulling away enough to look at Castiel.Blue eyes locked onto his and there was nothing uncertain left in them.It was passion and heat and Dean couldn’t look away from the hunger there, knew that it reflected his own.When Dean ran the pad of his thumb over the head of Castiel’s cock though Castiel closed his eyes and Dean was freed from his gaze.

 

He lean close, letting his lips graze over the plains of Castiel’s neck.He continued lower, licking his way around wounds and across the collarbone and then down to one nipple.When Castiel’s hand came up to his neck Dean let him hold him there, licking and sucking lightly at one nipple and then the other.

 

He worked his way further down after a few minutes and bit along the hip bones he’d been touching earlier.He was fascinated by the jut of bone and the soft flesh around it and it was only when Castiel groaned that Dean realized that his hand had stopped stroking.

 

He shifted down the bed, pulling the blankets completely off Castiel and settled himself between his legs. Castiel watched with wide eyes and Dean had no idea what his own eyes looked like.

 

“Take your clothes off Dean.”Castiel said in that quiet voice that sounded like authority, even dripping with want.

 

Dean gave a crooked half smile as he unbuttoned his shirt and threw it to the side. His tee-shirt was gone just as fast. He didn’t bother to try for modesty so with little preamble he shoved his jeans and underclothes off until he was naked and between Castiel’s legs again. He let one hand trail up Castiel’s chest and back down before cupping his balls lightly, rolling them in his hand. The angel’s head was thrown back onto the pillow and his hands were white knuckled as he grasped the sheets.

 

Dean leaned in, letting his tongue trace light patterns across his balls before moving up and licking a long strip up his cock. Castiel bucked up and Dean reached a hand out to hold his hips down as he licked around the head. He felt Castiel’s hand on his head then, fingers trying to get a hold of his short hair. He smiled, then wrapped his lips around the angel, licking and sucking as he worked the flesh.

 

He kept his hips down, kept Castiel from thrusting into his mouth until he knew Castiel was close to the end, then he let loose. It only took a couple thrusts and he was coming down Dean’s throat with a strangled cry.

 

Dean milked him through it before crawling up his body.Castiel pulled him into a kiss and Dean was more than happy to comply, biting at the angel’s bottom lip and sucking it back in as his hips slowly rolled into Castiel.

 

Dean moaned as he felt Castiel harden underneath him.Castiel pulled away from the kiss, closing his eyes as Dean dropped his forehead to his.“I want more.”Castiel said in a whisper and Dean didn’t try to hide his smile.

 

“I can do more.” He said, pushing off the angel and onto his side as he let his hand roam down his body. He ignored Castiel’s hardening cock and let his fingers travel further down to tease lightly across the inner thigh and back up to the soft skin beneath his balls. Castiel’s eyes opened wide as he looked up at Dean. “How much more Cas?”

 

“I want it all.”

 

Dean nodded as his fingers began tracing light circles around his entrance.Castiel didn’t clench up and Dean was awed by the trust that angel was placing in him with this.He leaned in, kissing him quickly before getting off the bed and rummaging through his bag.He found what he wanted and came back, dropping the bottle and the condom on the bed.Castiel’s eyes were still closed as Dean slicked his fingers up.His other hand began stroking Castiel’s cock as he continued the circles, growing closer and closer until he was putting a little pressure against his hole.Castiel still didn’t tense and Dean pressed in soft and slow, letting the angel’s body give naturally to him.

 

He worked one finger in and let Castiel adjust to that before he pulled it most of the way out, then slid it back in again. When he looked up, Castiel was watching him, eyes dark and intense. He continued working him, adding two more fingers before he found Castiel’s prostate. When he did Castiel began bucking his hips into Dean’s movements. “Ready Cas?” He asked softly.

 

“Dean… please.”Was the only response he got and Dean was more than willing to take that as a yes.

 

He put the condom on quickly, then slicked himself up. He took his time, pushing in slowly. When he was buried in Castiel he took a deep breath trying to steady himself. He looked down into Castiel’s eyes and felt the breath leave him. “God damn…”

 

“Dean…” A smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “’s blasphemy.”

 

Dean let out a breathless laugh. “I’m making love to an angel. I think we’re well past blasphemy Cas.”

 

He leaned forward then, kissing him as he pulled out most of the way, slowly riding back into him. He didn’t think he was going to last long, no matter how he wanted it to so he shifted his weight onto one hand and reached the other between them to stroke Castiel. A couple of strokes in he found the right angle and Castiel arched up off the bed. Dean kept his strokes even as he hit the angel’s prostate again and again. When Castiel came the second time, his hand closed over Dean’s shoulder. He felt the heat return, the claim and recognition and as Dean felt the angel’s body contracting around him it was enough to send him over as well.

 

When he could move again, he pulled out slowly and got rid of the condom before coming to lie down beside the angel. He wasn’t sure what he expected, but Castiel turned over on one side, pulling Dean’s arm around his waist. Dean smiled as he kissed the back of the angel’s neck and felt the pull of sleep as he listened to Castiel’s steady breathing.  
  
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](http://hunters-retreat.livejournal.com/32071.html)

  
 

He woke to the ringing of his phone and slapped a hand on the bedside table to grab for it.  “Hello?”  He asked, voice slurred with sleep.

 

“Dean?”

 

“Sam.”  He sat up then, trying to pull himself together.  His eyes widened slightly as he saw Castiel lying on his side next to Dean.  He closed his eyes and focused on the phone instead.  “What’s going on Sam?”

 

“We got the demon and we’re on our way back.”

 

“Took you long enough.”  Dean said, trying to hide the disappointment that he didn’t have a right to feel.

 

Sam let out a small huff.  “I’ll tell you what.  Next time, you can chase after the demon and find a way to make it talk and I’ll stay at home babysitting.”  He heard the hitch in Sam’s voice then when he realized what he said and wished he’d never said anything.  “Dean, I’m sorry.”

 

“Sam, just tell me you found a way to get the binding ring off.”

 

“Yeah we did.  We’ll be there in 30.”

 

Dean hung up, slipping his legs around the side of the bed.  He let his head drop into his hands and tried to forget it.  It was just teasing, something he and Sam did as easy as breathing, as necessary to them in some ways, but Sam knew what he’d done in hell and now he couldn’t talk about something like that without the memories and Sam knew it.  He’d been able to play the small things off before, but Sam didn’t allow it now and he just hoped Sam would take his change of topic without having to have a long discussion about it later.

 

“Good news?”  Castiel’s hand on his back nearly made him jump but he took a deep breath and steadied himself.

 

“Sam and Ruby are on their way back.  I don’t know how long it will take them, but they’ll get the collar off.”

 

Castiel nodded.  “You don’t look so happy about that.”

 

Dean shook his head.  “It’s… just something Sam said.  Nothing to worry about.”  He got out of bed then and started grabbing his clothes, putting them on almost as fast as he’d discarded them. 

 

He could feel Castiel’s eyes on him, watching as he went to the table and found another bottle of water to bring back for the angel.  “Here, you probably need this.”

 

Their hands touched as Castiel took the water but when Dean pulled back Castiel caught his wrist.  “Dean…”

 

“What?”

 

“Don’t pretend this didn’t happen.”

 

Dean let out a sigh as he looked down.  “Sam and Ruby are on their way.  You’ll probably want some clothes.”

 

“Dean.”

 

The sound of his voice made Dean stop and look.  He wasn’t sure how to describe the look in Castiel’s eyes so he didn’t try.  Instead he stopped moving.  “What do you want me to say Cas?  I know it happened but there’s nothing to talk about.  Sam will get the binding ring off you and you’ll be an angel again.  You’ll come back and try to bully Sam and I into doing things and we’ll do our own thing anyway.  It’s a good deal, why go messing with it now?”

 

Dean was moving then, having said more than he wanted to.  He found the sweats from earlier and set them on the bed beside Castiel, then went into the bathroom to clean himself up.  He didn’t know what to expect from the angel, didn’t have any idea what he felt himself at this point.  Castiel had a claim on him, something imbued in his flesh and now that he’d tasted Castiel he wasn’t sure he could ever forget.  It wasn’t he same as Anna.  She’d been human even if she did remember being an angel.  Castiel was still an angel, just trapped in his current body.  And Castiel had brought him out of hell, making him his in the process.  He’d always hated it and no more than now, when the idea seemed far sweeter than it should. 

 

He didn’t know how long he’d been in the bathroom when he heard voices outside.  He opened the door to see Ruby standing in the doorway, salt keeping her outside and neither she nor Sam seeming to want her any closer.  She looked up at Dean, gave a small gesture of her head and took off.  She didn’t want to be any closer to an angel than she had to, no matter how much she’d done on his behalf.  Dean was just grateful she was gone.

 

Sam was on his knees at the end of the bed looking up at Castiel who was dressed in Dean’s sweatpants.  He had his eyes closed and Dean stuck his hands in his jean pockets to stop the itch that wanted to touch.  “Figure it out?”

 

Sam looked up at Dean, eyes tired but the smile genuine.  Sam, who had always believed in angels and prayed even after everything had happened to his family.  It was irony that made Dean the one worth saving and Sam the one they all feared would turn dark on them.  “Yeah.  Just need to see this a little closer.”  His thumb was rubbing over the binding ring, reading the words that Dean had seen engraved there before.  “The demon said there were two of them and taking it off depended on the one it was…” he said, talking aloud. 

 

Dean took a seat and closed his eyes, listening to his brother’s voice in the background, something that was as soothing to him as a lullaby.  When his voice switched to Latin he looked up just in time for the binding ring to suddenly snap open and fall off Castiel.  Light flooded the room and they both covered their eyes as Castiel was freed from the enchanted circle. 

 

He felt the light recede and looked up to find Castiel as he ever was, face curious and confident, no more marks on his body.  Just… Castiel.  Sam smiled up at the angel who reached down and took the binding ring in his hand.  “Thank you Samuel.”  He said softly. 

 

Sam nodded and Dean knew the peace that his brother felt from the angel today, knew that it was different from other times when Castiel had come to play a different role in their lives.  This was just Castiel being himself, an angel of the lord in all his glory. 

 

“May I have a word with your brother?”

 

Sam nodded, looking over at Dean first, then walked out.  He was sure he was going to track down Ruby but he couldn’t bring himself to worry about it too much.  Not yet anyway.

 

“Dean..”

 

He waved the angel off.  “Already been said Castiel.”

 

“No, it hasn’t.  Dean, just listen.  I know you don’t want to hear any of this, but thank you.  You didn’t have to come for me.  You didn’t have to help me.  No one asked you to, but you did anyway.  Thank you for that.  You and your brother risked your lives for me.  I can’t say thank you enough.”

 

“It’s what we do.”  Dean said, trying to pass it off as just another day at the Office Winchester.

 

“And for the rest of it,” he stepped into Dean’s personal space, his hand coming up to Dean’s shoulder as he did.  “Thank you for that too.  I remember Dean, I will always remember.  Even if I can’t be anything other than who I am now, I will always remember what it was like for one night to be human.  Nothing will take that.  Nothing will take the place of being a human and being loved.” 

 

Dean took a deep breath, trying to think of anything to say but nothing would come.  Castiel backed away, just a few steps and Dean felt the loss when he opened his eyes and Castiel was gone.

 

He opened the door to the motel room and walked out, finding Sam sitting on the hood of the Impala.  “He gone?” 

 

Dean nodded.  “Ruby gone?”  When Sam nodded back Dean smiled.  “Just the Winchester boys again.”

 

Sam laughed.  “Better believe it.”

 

“Then lets get our things and get out of here.  Got any idea where we could do next?”

 

Sam brushed shoulders with Dean as they walked back into the motel room to pack.  “Might be a haunting in Miami, Ohio.  Or a black dog in London, Kentucky.”

 

The door closed behind them and everything was back to normal.  The brothers were on to their next job.  The demon was hunting her own kind on a vendetta than no one understood.  And the angel stood outside a motel room, watching it’s inhabitants, knowing that although he had been in the battle the longest, he was not alone.  Nor would he ever be unloved. 

 


End file.
